Something happened a few days ago.
I had an obligation I needed to attend to a few days ago. I was a little frazzled with work stuff, but at the same time, wanted to make sure I would attend to this sort of obligation in the best possible way. In my anticipation, I even had an anxiety-provoked dream where I’ve completely neglected the obligation because I’ve forgotten about it until it was past due. Anyhow, I got through it. And I was almost on time.
Later on, in my reflections, I was trying to process my interaction in retrospect, with the people during the meeting. How did it go? As I thought about it more, I thought to myself, how maybe some events that transpired were not to my liking. Some of the dynamics of the interaction were a bit more exploitative than I would have liked. Yet, I questioned myself if that was, even so, or whether any sort of wrongdoing was a figment of my imagination, rather than in actuality.
Is there a word for that? That is, where the perpetrator makes the victim feel as though they are the cause of their own ill fate, in order to justify the abuse inflicted upon them by the perpetrator. It’s a type of psychological ploy.
Whatever happened that evening, I’ve resolved to give the person(s) the benefit of the doubt, and not to think that anything bad happened at all. I was so anxious about the entire event anyhow, which might have made me question the legitimacy of other’s sincerity.
This process of thought inspired me to remember something I’ve read a long time ago. I was deep in my deviant psychology phase, and happened to have picked up a book about sociopathy. The book states that roughly about 4% of the population are sociopaths, not a large figure but larger than is ideal.
What’s troubling though is that the majority of those sociopaths are not in jail. They are so adept at manipulating their way out of trouble, or committing moral ills that are not illegal per se but victimize people nonetheless. How scary is it to know that one of these people is that one sitting next to you? It can be your boss. It can be your own child, or your mother, either of which you did not choose to be in your life. Many of us, especially those of us who are most agreeable and eager to please, are the most easily persuaded to do evil things via social pressure. But what of those, who live entirely to serve their own interests at the expense of other people? That is sociopathy.
Whether it is peer-induced, sociopathic behavior, or sociopathy in it’s purest form, how does one protect oneself? How does one get out of harm’s way when the blows of harm are targeted straight at you? Sometimes it’s worth a fight…yet, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten less inclined to fight. Perhaps, I am more worn-out, less energy, less umphed to survive. Maybe I’m just smarter. It is through reflection, I’ve realized that one of the greatest weapons of defense is disengagement.
So whether you want to fight, or you want to not fight, as a way of self-preservation, so be it.